King Spa & Sauna

This is THE spa in Dallas, Texas. This is where everyone comes—black, brown, white, old, young, gay, straight. This is what spa democracy looks like. And you know what’s the foundation of this democracy? The bar inside the water park. This spa basically says fuck any Orientalist notion you have of the far East being minimalist and zen. This spa says, everything is bigger in Texas, so why not put a theme park next to the inherent theme park that is a Korean spa. If your idea of a good time is getting sloshed with your sweetheart and sliding down a tube surrounded by screaming children, this spa is for you. Obviously you need to wear a swimsuit for the pool area.

I like to come here and stay overnight when I have a deadline so I can use their wifi to work on my computer and take procrastination breaks in the hot tubs. At night, I end up sleeping in the recliners in their projection screen TV room. There was an outbreak of Legionnaire’s disease a few years ago, so be warned!—Carol

CS: I got a Vsteam here. It was  great bc they cover you in a tent sheet, so it’s also a whole body steam. I did that then a scrub. Or rather, sauna, vsteam, scrub, food. Basically a new fucking baby after that.

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